Indeed it is a choice I am half reluctant to make, none the less I have made it. It feels good, it feels like this could actually go somewhere. I'm not certain my mind is healthy at the moment. So many positive thoughts, yet I am still me, at the same time my mind brings out the worst possible scenario. I know for a fact that the odds of good in comparison to evil is not good at all. Let's just say I would bet on evil. Lady fortuna will not be smiling my way when it's over. The one positive thing this choice brings me is the knowledge of actually making the choice.
Two there were but only one or perhaps zero shall remain. That is the consequence of my choice, that is the anxiety behind the choice.
I'm not sure I will be able to see any real answers in the near future. In fact i'm not sure i'll see any answers until maybe May next year. Then it could be too late and THAT worries me. Because even though I could go back, even though I have possibilities to succeed even after my specific time frame, which I have given myself, i'm not sure I could do anything. So time is of the essence and time will always struggle against me.
So a choice has been made, by me. This choice might be something everyone else could be a part of. Then again, the alternative is something I can't even think of at the moment. Although the alternative lies very near, it is almost like I can see it happening already, but I don't ever want to think about it. Where did the positive thoughts behind the choice go?
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