An answer presented.

So I figured out one of the things that crossed my mind a couple of nights ago.
Once again I thought of my personality and the variety of areas it covers. Like I am torn between so many things, that I find interesting that people who meet me can't quite figure out what kind of person I am.
It bothers me of course and I have on many occasions thought about changing who I am, but I don't really see how that would help me since this personality seems to be all I got. As my interests are mostly male dominated areas it certainly makes it harder to attract women (Like I didn't have problems before?).
Frustrating as it is, that was one of the more relevant thoughts I've had in some time. I felt kind of enlightened by the fact that it all made sense in a sad way.
The curious part is why I didn't feel this way the last time I had the same thoughts, is it because I am older and more wise? It could also be the result of me slowly breaking down, and in such accepting the flaws that I have in order to forever stay a loser.

One down and one to go, what was that other thought that struck my mind? Was it nearly as interesting as this was? Maybe I pulled a trick on my own mind creating a thought seemingly important but in real life it was a mental bomb waiting to explode. I am sure that the answers will follow as I look ahead. Yet recent discussions and events made me quite uneasy about what is to come. That topic however, will be saved until tomorrow perhaps...