Too obvious.

It is i'm telling you. Way too obvious for me not to understand. I speak with people on a daily bases and I have found, as I most certainly have mentioned in previous posts, that people don't find me that interesting. It then bothers me even more that I am left out of so many things regarding people I know, because no one seems to share with me as much as I would've liked to. This could be explained with the help of my personality. It must be flawed somehow or at least have a characteristic that scares people off. I'm not a smooth talker and have been known to say the wrong thing at the wrong time on numerous occations, but I still want to be part of things and not always shut out of conversations. I don't have many close friendships and I have never known some one I would call "my best friend" . This could be a problem as I struggle to find people who find me remotely acceptable to be able to include in their life somehow.

Just recently I spoke to people and found out that unless I make contact with them first there would be no conversation what so ever. Not if I believe the many observations I've made anyway. Am I that boring that almost no one freely takes the initiative to talk with me? Those few who actually do still won't let me get deep. So I am limited to an extremely small number of people to confide in at times of need.
That is why I very often consider not to talk to people at all, PERIOD!
But who knows it might change for the better... NOT.