Ok so I have told you at some point that I often make the worst first impression. Something i'm working on but none the less it's still an issue. So when you meet new people you always have the knowledge in the back of your head that "You don't make a good forst impression".
That is my pessimistic side emerging to once again make me do the wrong thing or just fail in general.
So I still believe I make the worst first impressions because i'm not really capable of changing the way my mind thinks in that particular subject.
I haven't really gotten anything validated by anyone else and i'm not sure aanyone would actually tell the truth about it either.
Some people do however tell me things that I can immediately recognise as facts regarding their forst impression of me. Some things are actually good but are often evened out by bad things as well. Those persons who do knowingly or unknowingly speak about me, and my first impression, don't always realise that sometimes it's really like someone punching you in the gut.
I know it's not always peoples intention to say these things in a bad way, but no matter how they say it I will always feel hurt in some way.
So now to the thing that bothers me, I meet people know and then and I do remember when people mention things regarding my first impression.
What bothers me is the fact that everyone has so many scattered things to say about my first impression that i'm starting to believe that I don't really have a personality any more.
I might be a mixture of personalities that collide and as such can't have a personality of my own that is clear and consistent.
All this just makes me harder for me to define me as a person as I seem to drift into some kind of non-existance, being someone without an actual identity or personality.
I just feel plain confused about the whole thing..
No comments:
Post a Comment