It takes but a second.

I haven't really researched about whether or not there is a term for a depression which occurs ever so seldom but when it occurs it takes but a second to crowd out your mind.
If there is a name for it however, then I got it.
It struck me ever so swiftly, ever so badly. My stomach curled up and everything I've worked to forget came back with a bang. So today I have faced a day where everything seems obsolete.
I don't want to think, I don't want to feel.
It's one of those days where existance in itself is undesirable from my part.
To untangle my stomach and be rid of the thing inside it for only a moment would be bliss, but it will remain tangled for a while longer.
If my depression would give me a headstart, a time buffer which I could use to make the necessary preparations, then it wouldn't be so bad. I guess that's the thing about depressions, they are always bad, but some surprise you more than others.

Tonight I fear I have to face all those things that depression brings once more. I know what happens when I lay down to relax, things get so much more tense. If only my tinitus would get louder, then it could help me ignore all those voices of mine. No im not paranoid or crazy or anything like that, but if you have had some sort of depression in your lifetime you know that the brain tells you things. It tells you what you don't want to hear, but at the same time it tells you what you have to hear solely based on the fact that you are depressed.
So hear I am, in the midst of sudden depression... and it's just as bad as last time...