I wish that truth was easy, it is everything but. I lay and shivver by the mere thought of telling the truth this time. It just pisses me off. I wish I could just go to sleep but I must write this down. It should be so easy. I tell the truth and it all goes my way, but we all know it never does. It pisses me off. I fall in to the same trap as always and the outcome is so easy to figure out, it's almost inevitable. I can't even stop myself sometimes, it's like I intentionally plan to ruin everything for myself. It really pisses me off. I'm not sure what to do, I need help, but a special kind of help. Help that I know is nowhere to be found at the moment, mostly because they have all abandoned me, those who I thought mattered.
I am lonely, I am pissed, I am doomed. It seems this is the easiest way to describe it all. Yet people insist of telling me only what they think I want to hear and not the solid facts. Which quite frankly would be more appreciated. I just want the truth from somebody else, that way I can shut down my mind. I could stop worrying, I would stop analyzing, I could even stop this blog. Then again we all know it isn't that easy. The truth is always twisted, the truth may come with a price. I am just so damned pissed off, at myself, and at those who I know I can't tell the truth to. The truth is actually signing my death certificate.
The truth always comes with a price and that just pisses me off, if someone told me the truth then I could die without worries and i probably would. No doubt about that...
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