I thought of something else regarding this subject. It's called fear.
Because I can relate to other sources I tend to see what happens to them. The outcome of situations in their "life" are often options which my mind would never consider. I can as such add a possible outcome if the same situation happens to me. This renders fear... unfortunately.
Because they often face situations I haven't had a chance to experience yet, this means I feel fear depending on the outcome of their situation. Should go things go bad for them, then I automatically assume I would do much worse in the same situation.
So I watch and I hope they solve whatever they face in the most succesful way, and at the same time I look at the probability that I should be able to solve it the same way.
I hope, and at the same time I am afraid because there is always several bad options to be considered, and nothing considers bad options like my brain. Not according to me anyway.
The time has almost come when I will be faced with new events thanks to the external sources.
I can already say there will be at least two events this week which can greatly affect me. This number however will also increase to a certain three events a week not far from now.
This makes me wonder, will that increase my hopes and my fears, or maybe if one external source comes to a sort of standoff, then I only have to worry about two sources.
People might say I should consider leaving the external sources alone so that my mind can be a little more at peace with its surroundings. That is however not an option I'm willing to accept at this point.
I feel that whatever happens to my external sources it might come to great use in my own life, and it might happen quite soon.
One things for sure, the upcoming events will trigger more thoughts.. but will they trigger good or bad thoughts?
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